After a Medical Error or Malpractice Lawsuit: How It Affects Physicians and Their Marriages
It might have been a missed finding, a complication, or an outcome that no one could have predicted. Maybe it was followed by a letter from an attorney. Whatever happened, you haven't been the same since.
You replay it at night. You second-guess decisions you used to make with confidence. You come home and can't find words for what you're carrying, so you say nothing at all. And the person you love most can feel you pulling away, without understanding why.
If this is where you are, I want you to know: what you're experiencing has a name, it's far more common than most physicians realize, and there is a way through it, for you and for your marriage.
What Is Second Victim Syndrome?
Second victim syndrome describes the emotional distress health care professionals can experience after being involved in an adverse patient event or medical error. The patient and family are the first victims; the clinician who carries guilt, shame, fear, or grief afterward is often described as the second. The term was first described by physician Albert Wu in 2000.
Common responses include intrusive memories, anxiety, sleep problems, self-doubt, guilt, shame, withdrawal from others, and fear of practicing. For some, symptoms resemble post-traumatic stress.
How Common Is It?
Very common. A systematic review found that the prevalence of second victims after adverse events ranged from about 10 percent to 43 percent across studies, and research in Germany found that 59 percent of physicians reported having experienced it at some point in their careers.
Malpractice lawsuits are common too. Research published in the New England Journal of Medicine found that most physicians will face at least one malpractice claim by age 65, even though most claims don't result in payment. And according to the AMA, more than 61 percent of physicians over age 55 have been sued at least once. In one study of physicians involved in malpractice claims, about 81 percent reported psychological or physical symptoms related to the experience.
In other words, if you're struggling after an error or a lawsuit, you're in the company of a great many skilled, caring physicians.
Why It's So Hard to Talk About
Medicine has long expected physicians to be perfect, and many physicians hold themselves to that standard even more harshly than anyone else does. After an adverse event, shame can make it feel impossible to talk about what happened. Legal counsel may advise limiting conversations about a case. Colleagues may not know what to say. And many physicians worry that admitting distress will make them look less competent.
So they carry it alone, including at home.
How a Medical Error or Lawsuit Affects Physician Marriages
Silence that feels like distance
A physician who can't or won't talk about what happened may seem withdrawn, irritable, or emotionally unavailable. Their spouse often senses something is wrong but has no way in, and may start to wonder whether the distance is about them.
A spouse carrying worry alone
A lawsuit can stretch on for years, bringing uncertainty about finances, reputation, and the future. Spouses often absorb that anxiety quietly, trying to stay strong for their partner without anywhere to put their own fear.
Changes in at home
Sleep problems, hypervigilance, and self-doubt don't stay at work and can be experienced by the spouse as well. Short tempers, numbness, or a loss of interest in things the couple used to enjoy together make it hard to enjoy the moment or escape what happened.
Different ways of coping
One partner may need to talk; the other may need to avoid the subject entirely. Without understanding, those different coping styles can create conflict at exactly the moment the couple needs each other most.
What Helps Physicians After a Medical Error or Lawsuit
Name what you're experiencing. Recognizing second victim syndrome as a normal human response to a painful event, rather than a personal failing, can reduce shame.
Seek support early. Many hospitals now offer peer support programs for clinicians after adverse events. Confidential therapy with someone who understands medicine can also help you process what happened.
Let your spouse in, even a little. You may not be able to share case details, especially during litigation. But you can share how you're doing: "I'm struggling with something from work, and it's not about you. I need your patience." That small window makes a big difference.
Care for your body. Sleep, movement, and time away from the case help your nervous system recover.
Separate your worth from the outcome. Even excellent physicians make mistakes and experience bad outcomes. One event doesn't erase years of skilled, compassionate care.
What Helps Spouses
If your spouse is going through this, your support matters, and so do your own needs. Let them know you're there to support them and actively strategize ways to manage this stressor that will help both of you. Encourage professional support. And find support for yourself, too, whether that's a trusted friend or your own therapist. You're living through this as well.
How Therapy Can Help
Therapy can give physicians a confidential place to process guilt, fear, and grief after an adverse event or lawsuit. Approaches such as Accelerated Resolution Therapy can be especially helpful for intrusive memories and images, and typically don't require you to describe the event in detail. Couples therapy can help both partners understand each other's experience, bridge different coping styles, and stay connected through a stressful season.
You Are More Than One Outcome
A medical error or lawsuit can shake even the most confident physician. But it doesn't define your career, your worth, or your marriage. With support, many physicians find their way back to confidence, and many couples find that getting through something this hard together deepens their trust in each other.
If you are in crisis or having thoughts of harming yourself, please call or text 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. The Physician Support Line provides confidential support and is staff by volunteer psychiatrists, 1-888-409-0141.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is second victim syndrome in medicine?
Second victim syndrome describes the emotional distress clinicians can experience after an adverse patient event or medical error, including guilt, anxiety, sleep problems, and self-doubt.
How common is it for doctors to be sued for malpractice?
Very common. Research shows most physicians will face at least one malpractice claim by age 65, and more than 61 percent of physicians over 55 have been sued at least once, though most claims don't result in payment.
How can a malpractice lawsuit affect a marriage?
Lawsuits can bring prolonged stress, withdrawal, sleep problems, and financial worry. Spouses often carry their own anxiety quietly, and different coping styles can create conflict. Support for both partners helps.
Can I talk to a therapist about a malpractice case?
Therapy is confidential, and you can focus on how you're coping rather than case details. If you're involved in litigation, it's wise to ask your attorney about any specific concerns regarding what you discuss.
If you're wondering whether therapy could affect your license, you may also find it helpful to read Is Therapy Confidential for Physicians? Licensing, Credentialing, and Getting Help Safely.
You don't have to carry this alone. If you're struggling after a medical error or lawsuit, or watching your spouse go through it, I'd be glad to talk. I offer a free, confidential 15-minute consultation where you can share what's happening, without needing to share any case details.
Noël López-Freeman, LMFT, has been a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist since 2006 and has been married to a physician for more than two decades. She works virtually with physicians, physician spouses, and physician couples in California, Utah, Idaho, Iowa, Indiana, Texas, Florida, and South Carolina drawing on training in the Gottman Method, Emotionally Focused Therapy, Discernment Counseling and other evidence-based approaches.